I am experiencing the mother of all come downs. I was on a massive adrenalin high and now nothing. I've gone cold turkey off the good stuff and I have no idea what to do with myself. My wedding took over 12 months to plan- this equals 12 months of obsessing thinking about every little detail from dresses to stationary to music and now it is over.

In the three weeks since I have been married I have come up with a number of new plans to occupy myself and perhaps give myself a little hit of adrenalin... These have included but are not limited to redecorating the house, having another baby and (and this was my favourite of all favourites) buy a villa in Bali and relocate the family. Unfortunately all of these options have been vetoed by my new husband (although he did allow me one room of the house as a 'compromise').

How long does it take to get back to normal? If this goes on much longer I have been advised that we will make Kim Kardashian look like the poster child for long marriages- I am driving him crazy!

If you wanna re-live my glory days with me the photo's are here - My wedding photo's

This is my first time joining in with Jess from the Diary of a SAHM's

Without Further Ado....

So lovelies, I am back! And now I am married. If you happened to notice (or not- that's ok too) my absence in April it was because I was off to Bali (magical place that it is) to get married and have my honeymoon - if you can call a holiday with a three year old tyrant-in-training a honeymoon.

Now I am obviously still new at this blogging business as I very stupidly left all the photography of the trip up to others- and am now still waiting on photos to share with you all- especially of the all important wedding. The wait is nearly over though- I should have some up over the weekend along with the *wedding video* - see don't say I don't deliver :p ...

In the mean time I can share a couple of happy snaps from the holiday portion of our trip...

Fun was had by everyone...

As you can see we all enjoyed ourselves immensely. How relaxed do we look? I am fairly sure that those pretty coloured cocktails had an awful lot to do with that :-)

We also had some notable wildlife encounters... (Don't worry none of these were just 'roaming around' or anything.

Yep that is what it looks like...

Can you believe that elephant statue. Obviously I am all 'mature and shit' now that I'm married as I totally lost it laughing over that statue. This is what you are greeted with upon entering the Elephant Park in Taro. I am sure it has made for some pretty awkward family convo's over the years. We told MM they were 'playing'... We have some more cool pics with animals to come - I actually got to hold a baby Orangutan, which was totally amazing!

Well I just wanted to check in and say hi. I've missed the blog and am glad to be back! Stay tuned for the wedding pics and video next week.

P.S. Have you ever been blind sighted at a wildlife park and ended up in a 'sex' talk you had no idea you would have to have? Believe it or not this is not my first rodeo. Once at the Perth Zoo MM and I were confronted by a Baboon with a massive boner... Awkward!

You know you are happy when you are smiling so much that the attendant at the petrol station notices and asks you what's the deal?

This happened to me today as I got a call that my alterations were finished on my wedding dresses (yes I mean plural). I promptly got up and practically ran to my car, drove directly to the alterations place and tried those babies on. They FIT perfectly! Even the small one! Yay Yay Yay Yay.

The alterations lady was so happy she hugged me. I was so happy I hugged her back (weird as those who know me will attest- I am NOT a hugger). I was so happy that I smiled all the way to pick up some garments from the other alterations place, then all the way back to work and then apparently was still smiling so much 45 minutes later when I ducked into the Petrol Station next door to my work (to grab 2 minute noodles as I forget to get lunch on my lunch break) that the attendant couldn't help but ask me what was making me so happy.

In fact I am so happy that I am  now recovered from my meltdown that occurred this morning after my sister texted me to tell me that her size 2 dress (that when it arrived I panicked because I couldn't imagine anyone being tiny enough to fit into it) was WAYYYY (exactly how she wrote it) too big. WTF! That almost got her kicked out of the wedding! Luckily for her my dresses now look perfect, fit perfect and are perfect and that means I am happy enough to forgive her for being such a skinny bitch (at MY wedding- the nerve!) I'll bet she looks gorgeous on the day too- no idea about being a good sister...

Anyway need to go and stretch out my face a bit- my cheeks hurt :-)

Image via accessalex.com

When I called the dance studio yesterday morning the instructor kindly informed me that "oHHHHH You have left it awfully late, but I guess we can see what we can do..." This naturally pumped up my tyres and I took myself and my oodles of confidence (along with FI of course)  to the dance lesson that evening.

Let me just say now that my visions of wowing our guests with our Dancing with the Stars worthy performance have faded and in their place are lovely images of us shuffling around with me saying every two minutes "shit that was supposed to be my other leg first" or "Oh Crap I was supposed to turn then wasn't I?". Or even both of us just dancing into the wall because we didn't think it through and started in the wrong place. Either way I am sure it will be very graceful and elegant and simply scream romance. I mean after all what is more romantic than two people gritting their teeth with pained looks on their faces, muttering "walk, walk, side, together, step, turn close..."? Nothing I am sure.

Just think what we'll be capable of after our final two lessons!

23 days to go and counting. It has dawned on me though, that we are leaving the country in around 16 days and I am not prepared!

I have gone from completely chill and almost serene about the planning to a complete and utter nutcase in about 24 hours. I am not entirely sure what set off this recent bout of panic but it has taken over- with a vengeance! I woke up this morning with an overwhelming need to confirm every single detail. I absolutely lost my shit, just on reading an email from the wedding coordinator which indicated she hadn't recorded ALL of  my song choices.

I have realised that we still don't actually know who is coming and who isn't coming to the wedding and which of these people are bringing their children. Given that this is the case I am panicked about feeding said children. Even though that is completely irrational as I am sure that the venue will accommodate even at late notice.

I decided a while back that I was going to take my dress to the alterations place in the shopping centre as it is very simple and they assured me they just need a week. Now that I am 3 weeks out I am completely shitting myself that it is too late (despite what they said) and I'll be stuck with 2 dresses that don't fit- one is way too big as I have lost weight and the reception dress is too small as I didn't lose enough weight. Oh holy hell I am going to have a million wedding dresses and nothing to wear.

I am freaking out over the fact that we have not purchased luggage yet (and do not own a suitcase between us that is not falling apart- this from two fairly well travelled people?). I am concerned that when we do pack I am going to forget one of the 1000 things I need to take with me (and yes, I am having a destination wedding to avoid the need to be stressing about the details). I am having visions of putting on my (ill-fitting) dress and promptly realising that I have no hairpiece, jewellery, wedding rings, garters, purses etc.

I had a nice long convo with my sister last night- who happens to be my bridesmaid. She reminded me about Bali belly. I went to the docs to get shots for Bali but he never mentioned you can get a Bali Belly preventor and so none of us have taken one. I am now having frequent episodes in which I panic that the whole wedding party has been taken down by food poisening and the wedding is cancelled or worse turned into "that scene" (you know the one) from the movie Bridesmaids.

So I am going to have to get us all packed off to the doctors for the Bali Belly preventor- and some anti anxiety meds whilst I am there! Did you panic and stress over the details of your wedding? Did anything actually go wrong? Did you care?

The count down to the wedding continues (53 Days) and I am still working on those details. I am grateful that I can now cross "something old" off the list thanks to Etsy. Meet my beautiful new (to me) vintage clutch. She's not designer so a very budget friendly item- but she's pretty...and old.

I have been working so hard on all these little details- it is hard to imagine them all coming together on the day, although I am sure they will. Weddings are so exciting - and the marraige part too. I am so looking forward to cementing our little family.

It's funny, I thought I wouldn't get so caught up in the little things but somehow you do get swept away- and find yourself tearing up when you find that perfect song. Or when you write your vows. Or when you find a reading that says how you feel in just the perfect way. Come to think of it there has been quite a few tears lately... but they have been happy ones.

Anyway- enough from me. I have something borrowed to think about...

Now that my shoe crisis has been averted (fingers crossed), I am trying to cleverly put together my perfect wedding day look (without breaking the bank). Budget is important to us- as we haven't yet fulfilled our life ambition of winning lotto, but since I am a bit of a princess the right look  probably takes priority.

As my dress (which cannot be pictured as FI has been known to drop by and read this from time to time- Hi Honey) has a sweetheart neckline (it's ok- he doesn't know what that means) and I have decided against a necklace, this has left me with only having to find earrings and a bracelet for my bridal jewellery.

image via diva.net.au

I found the earrings sometime back on eBay and I have to say they are pretty special- gorgeous crystal drop earrings with a slight vintage feel AND only $19.99. This left me pondering the bracelet. I have been umming and ahh-ing over a few styles and today decided on something a little different. It will be my only "splash of colour" and my something blue...

It is very different to what I thought of going with but I do love the idea of a tiny bit of colour- especially considering everything else is varying shades of cream. I also loved the price - another $19.99.

Now I just need to work on something old and borrowed... Any ideas?

Today I am saddened. I realise now that acting in haste though ill advised, may actually sometimes work in our favour.

I am getting married in 59 days (according to my helpful project wedding update) and I am on the quest to find the perfect wedding shoe. I should rephrase that. I am again on the quest to find the perfect shoe. About 6 weeks ago I found the most perfect bridal shoe, cream and satin and romance and all things wonderful all wrapped up in a beautiful shoe. For those of you thinking "geez cool down, it's just a freakin' shoe" I am going to rebut with - Have you not read Cinderella?? Shoes are what fairytales are made of.

image via kaboodle.com

See for yourself:

Is she not the most beautiful thing you have EVER seen?

"Sigh"....

It is not meant to be. Apparently I am not the only one who feels this way about her as she is SOLD OUT! Everywhere in the whole effing world!

I was being responsible. I was being budget conscious and I felt that maybe, just maybe I could find another shoe at a bit more of a "budget friendly" price. I thought "don't act so hastily, there'll be another shoe half the price and you'll be happy you waited". Oh what a fool I was.

I am heart broken. I don't know where to look - there is no other shoe. I am going to be a tale of caution for brides world over. All I can do now is pray (and stalk eBay like a crazy person) until someone gives one up . Don't make the same mistake I did, if you see the perfect shoe- Grab it! Pay for it and never EVER let it go.

EDIT:
I felt I must come back and give an update on this situation as I know that many, like myself, love a happy ending (the fairytale kind of course, not the dirty version). I searched eBay yesterday, including the international sites and there was nothing. No I lie, there was an expired listing that was just sitting there. Taunting me. Making it worse.

I didn't give up though- I woke up this morning, went to work and searched again. And there she was. My beautiful, perfect Lyndee in Cream (there are plenty of the Rose ones left- but there is a reason for that...yuk). I couldn't let myself believe - one listing IN THE ENTIRE WORLD... it couldn't possibly be in my size!... Could it? I clicked on the listing, my eyes screwed tight, barely daring to look, barely daring to breathe. OH MY GOD!!! It was exactly my size. I squealed in delight (earning myself some interesting looks from my co-workers). I was so excited I almost didn't notice the price. It was HALF yes half the retail price and "New in Box". You could have knocked me over with a feather. Needless to say, these little beauties are on their way to me from the US as we speak.

I think I may just have to change the title of this post to Dreams Really Do Come True.

Just got my lovely little reminder from project wedding that I have 75 days to go until the big day. This makes me smile on the inside- I am so excited for this wedding. It is going to be amazing. Now if you haven't figured it out by my blog handle- it is going to be in Bali.

OMG I can't wait!!! It will be so nice to have all of our friends and family together in the one place AND in holiday mode. I think that makes all the difference- no work or other time pressures. Just sunshine and cocktails he he. I have actually taken my obsession  to the extreme and stalked out a few other couples that had their wedding at our location and WOW. Their photos are fab. I am already picturing similar wedding photos (obviously with my own family's gorgeous faces over theirs) hanging on our walls.

Dum Dum de Dum.... Ahhh dream land my old friend.

Here are some pics of the venue so you can daydream along with me :-)

My engagement ring had a makeover recently. And to be clear it was a MAKEOVER not an UPGRADE (given that we are not even married yet). When we were shopping for our wedding rings recently I was having trouble finding a wedding band that would match my ring. I took it to a few jewellers who were all of the same opinion that my setting was not the most secure and that if it got snagged on something I may lose the diamond.

After discussing this at length FI and I decided to get the diamond re-set. My gorgeous man then decided that if we were going to do it anyway then I may as well have the setting of my dreams. So after months of research (BTW Ring Porn is fabulous) I decided on one and away we went. I just picked up the ring last week and OMG it is so sparkly. I feel like a magpie transfixed by something shiny.

It is really hard to get photos of but here are a couple of iphone snaps:


This in no way does my ring any justice whatsoever but you get the gist. I just LOVE it :-) I think it is the best princess halo I have ever seen and NO I am not biased at all lol.

So today I am going to introduce you to one of the biggest issues in my life right now...my weight (no pun intended). This has been on ongoing battle since I had my little one (we'll call him MM). He is about to turn 3 at the end of feb so whilst my "I just had a baby" excuse is wearing thin, my waistline is not!

I have been up and down over the last 3 years, have driven FI MAD with my constant yoyo dieting and quick fix schemes. Surprisingly enough none of it has worked and I am actually 10kgs heavier than when I took baby MM home from the hospital (oh the shame).

Today however, I am ALL FIRED UP as per my blog title and on the brink of change. Of a new life. Of a new Me. Version 2.0 etc etc. I am starting the biggest loser Shannon Ponten's 8 week challenge. In eight weeks time it will be a new me sitting here writing to you. A leaner, happier and more confident me!! I am so determined that I will not be waddling down the aisle, I am going to stick to this even if it is 56 days of hell.

So today I am rearing to go- watch out as I may get a little grumpy but it'll all be worth it in the end. I'll be sure to post my weekly results to keep you in the loop (and me on track).