This is my new tattoo. Was something I have been thinking about for a little while and I went passed a tattoo shop yesterday and thought it was time. It hurt like a bitch but it was definitely worth it. So far I have had mixed reactions- but i  love it and that's the main thing.

Hi Bloggers and Bloggettes.

Long time no talk. I have been AWOL for the last 6 months. There have been a multitude of reasons for this. First off I found out I was pregnant and was so so so excited. At first I didn't blog as I wanted to keep it a secret until after 12 weeks and I knew I wouldn't be able to not write about it.

Then unfortunately I felt something was wrong at around 11 weeks and went for a scan. The bub didn't make it. I was so devastated. After that I couldn't write. I could barely talk. I shut down in a major way. My depression got bad, my anxiety flared up and I was a serious mess. Thus no blogging.

I am back under the care of a psychiatrist and a psychologist, taking my medication and now am feeling good again. Good enough to write. So much has happened in the last 6 months. Some of it bad- as above, but some of it good too.

I blogged a couple of times about how I wasn't happy in my job. I have finally taken the plunge and am working for myself. This is AWESOME! It has been the best thing ever for our family. I am happier and more available to my family and finally have some work/life balance that I have been craving for so long.

My little man is growing up (and getting cuter by the minute) and he starts Kindy this year. He is so excited- as am I. He is going to be so adorable in his little school uniform.

I am excited about 2013. I feel like I can let 2012 go and embrace the future. I guess all of the counselling and medication is helping too because I am finally taking care of ME again. I went to the dentist for the first time in 20 YEARS. OMG, I can't believe I actually did it. I have to admit that there was some serious shaking in my boots going on- quite literally too. The dental assistant had to plug my earphones into my ipod because my hands were shaking so much I just couldn't do it. Blt, despite my ridiculous dental phobia, I went. It wasn't that bad actually- 8 fillings. Considering I hadn't been to a dentist since I was 9, this was a pretty good outcome.

I just today went to the specialist about my sleep apnoea and got hooked up with the Darth Vader  cpap machine so hopefully I will soon stop waking up feeling like I could die within the hour.

Also I guess another significant decision I have made is to have weight loss surgery. This is something I have thought about for a long time but have never gone through with- until now. I have been a yoyo dieter for years. I can lose weight but I can never seem to keep it off. I always put it back on- with interest. As I am suffering from obesity related conditions at the moment (such as sleep apnoea, fatty liver and insulin resistance) I have decided enough is enough. My doctor has approved me for lap band surgery and my psychiatrist has also written a letter to the surgeon supporting my decision. I have yet to have my consultation with the surgeon though- so he could decide not to do the surgery, but I am hopeful that he will.

I feel good about this year and where I am at in my life now. I love my husband, my son and my job- all in all I am a pretty happy camper. So bring on 2013 - let's do it.

Now I am happy again- no doubt you'll be hearing from me more regularly. Look forward to chatting.

Rhia xxx

This morning I was woken with a very lovely "Morning Mummy, I love you". This instantly brought a smile to my face (which if you've ever seen me first thing minus the caffeine hit is no mean feat). I enthusiastically roll over to see my little darling who is climbing up onto my pillows.

He looks down at my cleavage which is not so modestly covered by my singlet top (I was sleeping- I don't just get around like that) and he says "Are they ya boobies?" pointing to my boobs.

"Umm well yes" I say hesitantly, wondering why the sudden interest.

image via rose-wallpapers.com

If you have been reading my blog then you may be aware that I recently got married. Planning the wedding was fun and I actually really enjoyed the process- except for the odd meltdown.

Now that we are back and settled there is the little matter of changing my name to attend to. I am not sure what the hold up is here- when we first got back I started the process within a week of arriving back from the honeymoon. I then had to wait for a copy of the marriage certificate and the process stalled. And has not progressed since.

I have letters prepared and waiting to be sent out. These are dated 11/05/2012. And the sad thing is they were pre-dated as this was the date I was expecting to have well and truly received my certificate and had copies certified.

And yet I still have not sent them out. At this point I am in danger of repeating the name changing "non event" of my first marriage- which basically went along the lines of me not changing my name (but saying I would a lot) and then separating before I actually got around to it. Actually come to think of it a lot of things never actually happened before we separated- the wedding video was still being edited. In that instance my lack of motivation was a blessing because I just would've had to change it back again.

I think maybe it is just the idea of change. It is hard to get my head around calling myself something different. I feel like people will know that it's not really my name - or something. Weird right? Also I tried to practise a new signature a few times and it felt really unnatural- I kept muddling up the letters.

I have decided to take the plunge and get those letters sent out. Maybe it will sink in that it really is my name once I see it on my drivers licence...

Did you change your name? Did you find it hard?

 PS I should add that I do want the same name as my husband. I realise that this is not for everyone and totally respect anyone that wants to keep their own name etc.