This weekend was a long weekend here in WA. For the most part we had a quiet little time mainly due to the fact that I caught the flu from my flu shot bastard. We did make it out of the house on Sunday morning though as I was going a little stir crazy.

I have been complaining for a while now that since I am the only girl I spend a lot of time playing cars or football or trucks or dinosaurs and not nearly enough time having tea parties. So my beautiful boys treated me to a tea party on the river and it was awesome!!


It was so nice to sit back with my tea and enjoy the views of the river and hang out with my two favourite people...


Aren't they cute? MM was super excited that he and daddy were both wearing red jumpers. These things are very important when you are three. I was super excited because I love love love tea and pretty things and vintage stuff and this tearoom was all decked out in vintage charm and I was totally in heaven.


After the tearooms they took me back to bed to sleep off the rest of the flu- which frankly I think has only served to make it stronger bloody bugs. But my little excursion was certainly the highlight of our three days off. I think MM's highlight was having his uncle and his 3 big boy cousins over for dinner and riding scooters. I think hubby's was probably being able to go to the pub Saturday afternoon for a "baby head wetting session"- friends of ours - we are not still wetting MM's head or anything weird like that.

What was your weekend highlight?

Joining in with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for #IBOT

I went through a breakup this week and it was tough. With MM's Daycare. I don't wish this on anyone because as a family we are traumatised. MM has been going to the same daycare since he was a tiny baby. He is now 3 years old. He knows that place inside and out and it has truly been like a second home. Until recently.

Around his birthday (in Feb) he was moved from the toddler room to the pre-school room. Around this time we started to get reports of undesirable behaviour from the daycare staff. We also got reports of undesirable behaviour from MM about the daycare staff. We thought that MM was telling us stories because he didn't like getting in trouble. We also thought that this explained why all of a sudden he didn't want to go any more and would start crying at 8am before we had even left the house.

As parents this concerned us - as did the reports of his behaviour and we took an active approach to working with the centre to provide continuity and consistency in the behaviour management strategies in order to help get MM back on track. One of the carers in his room was lovely and I could tell she genuinely cared for my son. The other one was vile and had a terrible attitude.

I would go in after work and the first carer would pull me aside and update me on MM's day- good, bad or otherwise we would discuss it in private. I would then go and collect MM from the room where carer #2 would stop reading the story to the group of children and loudly in front of children, parents and whoever else was there proceed to tell me that "MM Had a terrible day, didn't listen at all etc etc etc). On more than one occasion I shut this down with a "thanks- I have been updated" and a look- which should have spoke volumes. She never really seemed to get the hint though.

On Tuesday I wasn't feeling well. I left work early and went to pick him up from daycare. The kids from his room were all playing outside. Carer #1 was on holidays so a carer from the toddler room who used to be MM's carer before he was moved up was filling in. She pulled me aside to have a chat as she was concerned about a few things. Whilst she was filling me in on the days events I was watching MM play with the kids in his room. In the space of 10 minutes I heard the following:

"MM is naughty"
"MM is bad"
"You are a bad boy MM- we don't like bad boys"
"MM is a stupid head, MM is a Stupid Head"

The look on my son's face was heartbreaking. I have never seen him so upset. I alerted the carer I was talking to and she instantly went to take control of the situation because carer #2 was not doing anything!

As we both went over to sort it out one little girl came up to me and eagerly tried to inform me as to what was going on. "MM is bad" she told me, looking up as though I would be pleased with her for letting me know. I lost it. I told the little girl that in fact MM isn't bad- even if he doesn't always do what he is told and that actually it isn't nice to call someone bad. She looked at me in complete disbelief. As if this is the first time anyone had ever told her off for saying that. That look devastated me. I knew then that this had been going on all day -everyday. At the age of 3 my son has been labelled as "bad" and treated accordingly. These are only kids- they are getting it from somewhere and my guess is carer #2.

The carer and I took MM inside and had a talk about what had just happened. I told her what I suspected- and she said "I'd like to be able to deny it but from what I have seen this past 2 days it is true". She also verified MM's stories of being called a "crybaby" when upset (by the carer) etc.

I left the daycare and burst into tears. I called my husband crying so hard that I couldn't get the words out to actually tell him what has been going on.

I can't believe that I put my faith in them to look after my most precious being and they fucked it up. That poor kid. I also can't believe that I kept taking him there after he clearly didn't want to go anymore. I work full time- daycare is a necessity for us, but maybe I should have moved him when I knew he wasn't happy. I just honestly thought that a) they were looking after him and b) a change to a new daycare would be too traumatic.

We had yesterday at home together as I couldn't bear the thought of taking him back there. We interviewed at a new centre and he started there this morning. His first day at the new daycare was as hard as the first day EVER of daycare. Actually probably harder because on his first day ever he wasn't actually able to say "mummy please don't leave me here", I just imagined him saying it.

To be fair I should tell you that the owner of the daycare spent an awful lot of time on the phone to me yesterday telling me all of the ways it will change there. I just need to give them a month, 3 weeks - something and then if I don't see any change move. Unfortunately I know that it is futile. What I experienced Tuesday was a deal breaker. It is time to move on and start fresh.

My heart is hurting today but I am pleased to say I am staying strong. It is lunchtime and I have only called twice to check on him. So far he is being the brave little soldier I know he is.

Have you ever needed to breakup with a daycare?

This post features some issues that rate pretty high on the embarrassment-o-meter- I am slightly blushing as I type this. I am also pretty happy that I am hiding behind this screen and don't have to look directly at you....

So, my darling husband has been telling me I do something quite horrible for a while now. This particular thing is not pretty and I don't like to admit it. As a result I have been sticking my head in the sand - whilst he has been getting more and more animated in describing the problem- which has made me more embarrassed causing me to simply burrow deeper into the sand and secretly plot ways to exact revenge for my humiliation.

Deep Breath.... and here goes. I am a snorer. There I admitted it. I snore. This statement makes me feel as feminine as I would feel had I just said 'I am a trucker named Bob'. To make matters worse- I am not just snoring. I am swimming laps in my sleep. My husband tells me that I roll over on average once every 30 seconds or so. This goes a long way toward explaining why I am waking up exhausted. I am probably getting more exercise in my sleep that I am getting the whole time I am awake (sad I know).

The swimming of laps in my sleep also means I can't keep pretending that the snoring is a figment of my husbands wild imagination. I am too exhausted NOT to do something about it. I have finally been worn down enough (worn out out enough?) to take action. I have scoured the depths of the Internet and discovered it is very likely that I have sleep apnoea (yes, thank you DR Google).

At first this led me to be very cross. I had a week or two of some  child-like tanty's and even shot out a "no you can't change the channel- YOU gave me sleep apnoea" or two. I have since come to terms with it. Actually my views on it have turned around considerably.

My change of heart came about upon discovering the causes of sleep apnoea. One of which is a deviated septum. Hmmm why does that sound familiar? I asked myself. A-ha! That's why all the supermodels and Hollywood starlets get nose jobs! To fix their deviated septums! Whooo Hoo.

I am now no longer avoiding the doctors like the plague. I am phoning up for the first available appointment. I wanna know where I sign up for my free (or at least heavily subsidised) nose job. Thank You Sleep Apnoea.

Oh if my husband asks I am off to the docs because I realise now that sleep apnoea is a potentially serious condition which can lead to other serious health problems and I am a very responsible person.

PS. It has been suggested that I am very vain and should talk to my psychologist about this next time I am there. This has been duly noted. I personally think I am seeking out the silver lining. Or making lemonade.. or hay or something...

When have you found an expected upside?

Joining in with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for IBOT.

Some people are frightened of spiders, for some people it's the dark or even just change or the unknown. My biggest fear is mediocrity. I am frightened that somehow I will wake up one day and realise that my life has up and passed me by, and I just settled. Settled for something mediocre and dull. Settled for a life I didn't really want because it was there and it was easy.

 I almost did this when I was young and stupid (given that I am still young I'll change that to young-er and stupid-er) and I got married at 21. To an idiot. That I didn't love (I didn't fully realise this at the time- but I now know this as I am infinitely wiser). I knew deep down something wasn't right but I squished that feeling up into a little ball and shoved it into a dark cob-webby recess of my mind and ignored it. It made a few valiant attempts to be heard - like the full blown body chills the night before the wedding that even a steaming hot shower couldn't warm up (I thought I was getting the flu) or even the fact that I inexplicably started crying on the morning of the wedding and couldn't stop for about 45 minutes (the looks from my bridesmaids were priceless during that time) but I soldiered on and married I was. I endured 12 months and 2 weeks of the crapiest excuse for a marriage that I can think of (thinking that it was a life sentence- torture in itself) before I was rescued.

Knights in shining armour come in many different shapes and sizes and surprisingly mine came in the form of a young maiden- also known as my husbands girlfriend. She called me one day and told me that she thought it had gone on long enough. She had thought of saying something the day of the wedding, but thought better of it last minute. She thought maybe now after 12 months and 2 weeks of him not telling me, that maybe she should. I whole-heartedly agreed with her. And so I was set free, to try again -with lessons learnt.

I was lucky. I had made a mistake that could have landed me with a "less-than" life. I was scared of being alone because I didn't think I was strong enough or brave enough to face life on my own. I didn't think I would ever find someone to love me in a real way because I didn't yet love myself. It took my life turning on its head for me to realise that in fact I was strong- stronger than I thought possible. I was brave too and many other wonderful things that I hadn't known about myself. I was lucky that I had the opportunity to find this out. I did learn from my mistakes and I vowed never to settle again.

It is now several years later and I am married to the man of my dreams. The lead up to the wedding was a time of anticipation and joy. There were no 'cold feet' or bouts of tears- just smiles and happy thoughts (and the occasional bridezilla-esque moment). I don't see my marriage as a life sentence but as a privileged existence. I get to share my world with my best friend and overall favourite person. My marriage is a testament to fact that the benefits of being true to yourself are infinite.

I used to wish that my first marriage never happened. I never thought I would say this but  I am grateful for it. If I had been fortunate enough to sail through life and meet my beautiful husband and have the happy marriage from the outset I may never have learnt what can happen when you settle. I may have been in danger of doing it with other aspects of my life and as a result ended up with the middle of the road, boring existence that I am so scared of. Now I have a little piece of my heart, that though healed is still scarred. That scar reminds me not settle. As long as I heed its warning I know I'll live happily ever after.


What life lessons are you grateful for?

Linking up with Kate from Kate Says Stuff for Thankful Thursday :-)